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In the view of recent events in our beloved country Iran, I could not just continue with the usual subject of psychology and mental health and not address the recent events and its effects on Iranians outside of Iran. Here I want to address the emotional reaction experienced by Persian-Americans and suggest ways they can cope and maintain their emotional and mental health.
The effects of the recent events on people might have been different from one person to the other, but in general it has been an emotional rollercoaster for many. The experience has a long range of emotions from excitement and hope to disappointment, anger, and sadness and many other emotions in between. Individuals in Persian-American communities may have different views and opinions on the subject matter. However, when we hear the voices in Farsi saying, “Don’t be afraid, we are together.” during the intended peaceful demonstrations in Iran, no one can deny its shocking effect through your spine resulting in a mixture of emotions deep in you that are hard to describe. But in a moment you know that you share it with many other Iranians.
I have had several clients, who have just recently expressed that since the events in Iran, they have been experiencing a down mood, even at times depressed and/or anxious feelings, and more often than before were losing their temper with people around them. The majority of these Persian-Americans either immigrated as adults or children or were born and grew up here have close emotional connections to Iran. However, the intensity of the effects of the events in Iran on different individuals depends on their past personal and societal experiences with the system in Iran.
Many of you wish you could do something, but when you realize that your ability is so limited, the frustration, anger, and disappointment sets in. When you continue with this rollercoaster of emotions the effect include mental and emotional exhaustion. It will negatively affect your optimum functioning level in every aspect of your life and that may result in a deeper depression and anxiety, as well as many other physical and emotional problems. The facts are that many lives have been lost, many are imprisoned, and many have suffered and because of the bravery of our beloved Iranian people, the issue has been in the international media. And that is the positive outcome and we owe it to brave Iranian men and women. When I started to write for this issue I realized that Time and Newsweek magazines during June and July had something to say and report regarding the Iran’s situation almost every week. Just recently The New Yorker magazine had two articles in its June 29 issue and there are certainly many more in other publications and there will be even more coverage. While there have been many disappointments and, realistically, there will be more, now there is hope too.
Ways to cope with the situation:
- Recognize your emotions as a normal human reaction, embrace them, and express them with people who listen to you, acknowledge your feelings and are supportive.
- Know your limits. Do not spend your emotional energy on something that is out of your control. Concentrate on something you can do.
- Recognize the freedom you are enjoying here to express your view and support for Iranian people. Get involved in a discussion group, participate in the related events, and express your view in any way you see it appropriate with your unique situation. Your participation might potentially be therapeutic for you, helping you heal the past emotional wounds you might have experienced under the system.
- Get to know international organizations whose efforts are for supporting human rights and justice for all. When you are ready, get involved in ways that you feel comfortable.
- If you feel you are not ready to be active, respect and accept your position, give yourself time and concentrate on your immediate responsibilities in your role, as a student, a parent, a spouse and your work.
- Take small steps. Your small step may look so tiny in the face of the huge problem, but thousands of small steps add up to a movement.
In the long run:
- Start to educate yourself about the Iran’s history as a nation, what our ancestors went through, what challenges they faced, and how we came about the way we are. History teaches us a lot if we set out to learn from it and prevent us, as a nation, to repeat the past mistakes. This actually has a parallel in psychology of individuals and family. However, the issue is so important in our mental health that it requires full attention and it is beyond the scope of this article. I will return to it in future articles. Here it is sufficient to mention that when you are in the dark about your past, you are robbed of a chance to learn from it. That is true with our national history. We owe it to ourselves to learn about and from it.
- Ask your parent, grandparents and your family elder’s related questions. Their experiences are valuable oral history.
At every given moment, just focus on your tiny steps and keep hopes alive.
Dr. Khazrai is a licenses marriage & family therapist with more than 25 years of experience in individual, couple and family psychotherapy, practicing in Newport Beach.
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